Ever since I joined this site, I have found myself growing optimism towards the case of MJ… The fact that all of us share the same thoughts and theory discussions give me the greatest consolation ever. For this, I would really want to thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. I have never loved and visited any forum or site as much as this. Really.
However, admittedly, I believe there are times when I get that inevitable sinking feeling despite the hopes that were raised. The wave-like feelings that come and go… and the optimism that I sense this minute could be gone the next. I have never felt so messed up in my life before, ever. All the crazy thoughts that run around in my mind every second, every minute, every day.. I just am not sure how to put that into words. Argh.
For everything I do, I always have the tendency to think far. Thoughts such as “Will our theories come to nowhere?” and “What if all these topics die down one day and no one bothers to find out the truth anymore?” often cross my mind. Of course, time will tell us the answers. But its indeniable that impatience is slowly growing inside me.
I have had nightmares, and one thing good about them is that I could wake up and everything will be back to normal. No matter what happens inside the nightmare, I know I could brush it off and laugh about it later when I awaken.
But sadly and unfortunately, this whole MJ issue is no nightmare. I really, really… wish that this would just be another typical haunting nightmare which I can just wake up from, and have everyone look at me as though I am crazy when I go “MJ is dead!” . How I would yearn to hear people tell me ”Are you insane? MJ is still alive, you fool!”.
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And how I wish that this website is part of my nightmare. When I wake up and key in this address, a ”This page cannot be displayed” sign will pop up on my computer screen, proving me that this site is non-existent… because MJ is still alive and kicking well.
Ouch. The reality is always cruel. If this is a nightmare, please wake me up now. Smack me hard, for I would not ever accept the fact.
Please. I pray hard that what we fear the most and worst will not be true… for it will be too excruciating for any to accept.
Be it that I am just deluding or deceiving myself, I will still continue to hold my hopes. Even if it comes to the time when we have no more theories to back up the hoaxes, I , Catherine, would like to express my gratitude to each and every MJ fan here for giving me the best possible hopes that I could ever wish for. Even though we may not know one another in real life, but the bond and friendship we have created through the researches together in this forum is incredible. It touches me how everyone works as a team to bring the truth to light.
Thank you… Thank you… I love you guys.. from the very PIT BOTTOM of my heart.
P/S: I seldom write heart-felt stuff like these…But I must take this chance to, for in case this is really a nightmare and I can wake up to the truth that MJ is not dead afterall.