I didn't even listen to any of Michael Jackson's music…never even seen any of his interviews…and yet, when he died, I was heartbroken, and the worst part was not even knowing why.
I feel like I'm meant to be doing something, like I'm meant to be here…it's crushing me.
All I can think about is MJ and it's weird, like I knew I loved him even without knowing him – I was everything BUT a fan, I hate to admit it but I sometimes even made fun of MJ!!
Now I would rather die than to hurt him.
I feel like I've been sucked into this by some mysterious force and now it's too late to leave. I know too much and feel too much. I want to leave…
But at the same time I don't. I can't bear to think of letting go, to think that I will ever forget him and ever live life normally again. This is NOT mourning, I know what it feels like and this ISN'T like that. It doesn't feel like it's going to go…
I also feel like someone is here with me…like someone is trying to tell me that I have a role to play in all of this and I just can't seem to understand it.
I'm sorry…I probably sound like a psychopath to you all, but I NEED to talk to someone about this. The feeling I got when I heard MJ was dead was the strangest feeling I have ever experienced…like it was destiny…
Im so weird. Im a freak.
2:47 pm July 23, 2009
BB
Member
posts 330
2
you are not weird or a freak. you are being very nice.
Post edited 7:49 am – July 24, 2009 by BelieverAngel90
Glittr_Angel said:
Guys I think I'm going crazy….
I didn't even listen to any of Michael Jackson's music…never even seen any of his interviews…and yet, when he died, I was heartbroken, and the worst part was not even knowing why.
I feel like I'm meant to be doing something, like I'm meant to be here…it's crushing me.
All I can think about is MJ and it's weird, like I knew I loved him even without knowing him – I was everything BUT a fan, I hate to admit it but I sometimes even made fun of MJ!!
Now I would rather die than to hurt him.
I feel like I've been sucked into this by some mysterious force and now it's too late to leave. I know too much and feel too much. I want to leave…
But at the same time I don't. I can't bear to think of letting go, to think that I will ever forget him and ever live life normally again. This is NOT mourning, I know what it feels like and this ISN'T like that. It doesn't feel like it's going to go…
I also feel like someone is here with me…like someone is trying to tell me that I have a role to play in all of this and I just can't seem to understand it.
I'm sorry…I probably sound like a psychopath to you all, but I NEED to talk to someone about this. The feeling I got when I heard MJ was dead was the strangest feeling I have ever experienced…like it was destiny…
Im so weird. Im a freak.
You didn't know Michael , but he has that effect on people … and you have that “He still alive and you wonder” feeling … I think everyone does and me , too.
“Michael … I understand … I am sad I never got to talk to you … like a normal person.”
*Sweet Sweet Earth Angel A.K.A. Michael*
2:48 pm July 23, 2009
mjfan
Member
posts 679
4
I think worldwide grief is having an effect on a lot of people. People who believe in more than just this physical reality, who believe in a spiritual reality and an afterlife and that sort of thing… it's just this big energy and it has created some very strong emotions in a lot of people. Even people who didn't expect them. I didn't expect to be so sad about it either.
Some may find this weird, but I truly believe MJ was a spiritual avatar, I say was, because I do believe he died, but I don't believe he's “gone.” i.e. spiritually he still exists and someone who meant that much to the world, some part of him will likely stay connected with it and the fans, just my opinion.
While it's true that MJ theoretically COULD somehow be alive. I wonder somehow if this feeling that MJ is alive (and some people seem to feel his aliveness more now than before he died), is not just them feeling the energy of someone who has been freed from this mortal coil but who was such and impacting force on humanity that they can “feel” him still. And probably moreso now than when he was confined to a human body.
2:48 pm July 23, 2009
MyBelovedMJ
Member
posts 1012
5
Glittr_Angel said:
Guys I think I'm going crazy….
I didn't even listen to any of Michael Jackson's music…never even seen any of his interviews…and yet, when he died, I was heartbroken, and the worst part was not even knowing why.
I feel like I'm meant to be doing something, like I'm meant to be here…it's crushing me.
All I can think about is MJ and it's weird, like I knew I loved him even without knowing him – I was everything BUT a fan, I hate to admit it but I sometimes even made fun of MJ!!
Now I would rather die than to hurt him.
I feel like I've been sucked into this by some mysterious force and now it's too late to leave. I know too much and feel too much. I want to leave…
But at the same time I don't. I can't bear to think of letting go, to think that I will ever forget him and ever live life normally again. This is NOT mourning, I know what it feels like and this ISN'T like that. It doesn't feel like it's going to go…
I also feel like someone is here with me…like someone is trying to tell me that I have a role to play in all of this and I just can't seem to understand it.
I'm sorry…I probably sound like a psychopath to you all, but I NEED to talk to someone about this. The feeling I got when I heard MJ was dead was the strangest feeling I have ever experienced…like it was destiny…
Im so weird. Im a freak.
Oh, Dont be upset. Im more than a HUGE fan of Michael. Im sure he is alive, so dont you worry about a thing. Actuelly, what you just wrote would mean so much to him. He always wanted to “Heal the World” And he actuelly changed you, without you even notice.
When you love Michael like his fans does, this means a lot.
THanks.
NEVER STOP BELIEVEING. !!!
2:51 pm July 23, 2009
Peace
Member
Everywhere
posts 321
6
BerlinBabyGermany said:
you are not weird or a freak. you are being very nice.
I am in love with your signature picture.
Stranger in Moscow
2:53 pm July 23, 2009
niccih
Member
New York
posts 43
7
Glittr_Angel said:
Guys I think I'm going crazy….
I didn't even listen to any of Michael Jackson's music…never even seen any of his interviews…and yet, when he died, I was heartbroken, and the worst part was not even knowing why.
I feel like I'm meant to be doing something, like I'm meant to be here…it's crushing me.
All I can think about is MJ and it's weird, like I knew I loved him even without knowing him – I was everything BUT a fan, I hate to admit it but I sometimes even made fun of MJ!!
Now I would rather die than to hurt him.
I feel like I've been sucked into this by some mysterious force and now it's too late to leave. I know too much and feel too much. I want to leave…
But at the same time I don't. I can't bear to think of letting go, to think that I will ever forget him and ever live life normally again. This is NOT mourning, I know what it feels like and this ISN'T like that. It doesn't feel like it's going to go…
I also feel like someone is here with me…like someone is trying to tell me that I have a role to play in all of this and I just can't seem to understand it.
I'm sorry…I probably sound like a psychopath to you all, but I NEED to talk to someone about this. The feeling I got when I heard MJ was dead was the strangest feeling I have ever experienced…like it was destiny…
Im so weird. Im a freak.
it's like he's uniting us..whether we're fans or not
3:00 pm July 23, 2009
tis_ruthy
Member
England
posts 191
8
Post edited 8:41 am – July 24, 2009 by tis_ruthy
aww you are not a freak! You are obviously someone with a lot of empathy and caring for other people. Michael made such a big impact in the music industry and was part of many peoples lives…a lot of us grew up with him and have seen what he went through. We saw in Michael a vulnerability that made him human like the rest of us. It can be a shock when someone in the public eye dies suddenly. I was just a little girl when Elvis died and it had a huge impact on me, I was never a big fan of his until then.
Grief unites people. Death is something we try and rationalise and cope with. Part of me does feel that all of this was staged but another part of me realises that if he did pass away its just another reminder, that nothing lasts forever. Time waits for no man…….and in the grand scheme of things we are just a passing moment in this physical world..but our soul will live on forever. Don't fret, you will be fine, you are very self aware person and Michael would be proud of you right now.
3:08 pm July 23, 2009
BB
Member
posts 330
9
Peace said:
BerlinBabyGermany said:
you are not weird or a freak. you are being very nice.
I am in love with your signature picture.
thanks! It`s cute, innit
Glittr_Angel cheer up sweet girlThere is nothing wrong with you at all… you care darling, it`s a good thing
I didn't even listen to any of Michael Jackson's music…never even seen any of his interviews…and yet, when he died, I was heartbroken, and the worst part was not even knowing why.
I feel like I'm meant to be doing something, like I'm meant to be here…it's crushing me.
All I can think about is MJ and it's weird, like I knew I loved him even without knowing him – I was everything BUT a fan, I hate to admit it but I sometimes even made fun of MJ!!
Now I would rather die than to hurt him.
I feel like I've been sucked into this by some mysterious force and now it's too late to leave. I know too much and feel too much. I want to leave…
But at the same time I don't. I can't bear to think of letting go, to think that I will ever forget him and ever live life normally again. This is NOT mourning, I know what it feels like and this ISN'T like that. It doesn't feel like it's going to go…
I also feel like someone is here with me…like someone is trying to tell me that I have a role to play in all of this and I just can't seem to understand it.
I'm sorry…I probably sound like a psychopath to you all, but I NEED to talk to someone about this. The feeling I got when I heard MJ was dead was the strangest feeling I have ever experienced…like it was destiny…
Im so weird. Im a freak.
Calm down…a lot of us are going through what you're feeling at the moment, and you're not psychopath (psychopaths feel no empathy for other people). I have felt the same…like I died that day as well. Looking at things around me isn't the same anymore…the energy and life isn't there anymore. It's like Michael put all of that into the world. I've been having trouble listening to Michael's music as well…I always break down crying. His music sounds too recent…even the Bad and Dangerous albums! I feel like it can't be true that he's gone. The other celebrities that have passed, it's easy to look at their pictures and listen to or watch their work, and see them as passed away. But that's not the case with Michael. His pictures still have that energy, that life, and spirit in them as well as his music. It's impossible to see him as passed. The only thing is that his death (which is hopefully a hoax) happened so suddenly, tragically, etc….his fans loved him with all their hearts and supported him through everything, etc.
At the same time, I also feel like it's possible that Michael's gone, but I still keep hope. I still feel like I feel him here and hope that he's alive and well happy somewhere. I just hope this is the painful part of the joke, and he'll reveal himself sometime. Also, this sounds like that problem that a lot of family of murder victims and soldiers killed at war, especially if the bodies are never recovered in any case. This is because people who have such a close bond, love, etc. for the person, it's hard for them to accept the loved one's death without seeing the body as proof. Seeing the body gives closure and makes it definite for some reason. Without that opportunity, the people take much longer to come to terms with the death, or perhaps don't all the way, ever. For examples, if it's a soldier, the family hopes that maybe he or she was mistaken for another soldier, and that their family member is still over seas with amnesia, not knowing who they are, etc., alive! There's always that knawing hope, and the family and/or loved ones will always keep that in mind and look for the person.
You're not crazy or anything, but you're feeling the exact way that most of us are. It's hard to accept the death of a person we all loved so much. At the same time, myself included, I hold hope that Michael is alive because of all of the clues and inconsistencies in the case. There's a lot that points to Michael still being alive, but at the same time it could easily be wishful thinking and desperation. The only thing that I can do is to hope for the best for him and love him no matter what the case may really be, and if he was killed, I hope those people are brought to justice.
He who has a “why” to live for can bear with almost any “how.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
7:49 am July 24, 2009
carelesslove46
Member
posts 266
11
No your not crazy sweetheart…I feel exactly the same way..Michael was an important part of my youth. I had all but two of his albums ..However, I have also appreciated other kinds of music too..And for a long time there I didn't even listen to Michael's stuff..When he passed away I just couldn't/wouldn't believe it..I honestly never expected Michael to die..I thought he would go on and on..I suddenly felt devestated…Like a part of myself had gone with him and I just simply could not stop crying..I started to revisit his music again and even bought the albums that I didn't have..I just love 'Unbreakable'..Out of all of Mikes albums that would have to be my favourite…But look sweet one you are not alone in how you feel here..We can all relate OK…Michael Jackson had an incredible impact on our world without us even realising it probably..I came here looking for answers…I do believe he has died but it's the circumstances in which he died that is the mystery to me…So many conflicting accounts..The media, who do you believe?? I dont think we'll ever get to the bottom of things..Though I keep on hoping….Take care hun and please know you are not alone…Gee-whizz at times I find it hard to even concentrate at work…I keep thinking of Michael and what could have possibly killed him..All those media reports about him only having 6 months to live etc…It's doing my head in…Stay strong ok..This site can be a place of support too for fans that are grieving as well as for those that are looking to find some answers…Take care..xxxx
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