Michael Jackson Hoax Death

Is the King of Pop really dead?

July-13-09

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Invitation/Advice for Michael +PICS

UserPost

10:26 pm
July 31, 2009


Hideaway

Member

Texas

posts 45

1

Post edited 3:28 pm – August 1, 2009 by Hideaway


Michael:  If you need a place to hideout for awhile, hit up any of us on this board.  Most of us would gladly accommodate you. 

If you come to my place, I will leave you alone & totally ignore you   if that’s what you want. 

 

You can stay here but I’m not sleeping on the damn floor.

You just have to deal with sharing my bed.  I'm of age, so it's ok.  **Bonus**:  it’s Temperpedic memory foam, so you won’t spill your glass of red wine on your side of the bed when you do the high-kick-slap-the-knee-spin-spin-spin-fall-into-a-kneel-with-arms-raised dance move at 4:00 am. 

 

If you want milk and cookies in bed, you’ll have to go to the grocery store & get it yourself. 

Before you head out to the store, try to disguise your appearance until you have the opportunity to get your new, surgically restructured face.  Green contact lenses & a light brown spiky wig are a good jumping off point.  Lose the guy liner, dot on some freckles.

 

No!!  Yellow contacts will not suffice!  

 

Incognito is the game.

 

You’ll have so much fun shopping on your own with a cart while rubbing elbows with the general public.  If the wheels are squeaky or get jammed, just trade it in for a smoother gliding cart.  No!  Not that one, the left wheel is rattling.  There. 

 

No mob will be overcome with excited pandemonium, plowing you down upon spotting you.  No one will be ripping out fistfuls of your hair; no one will be screaming your name & fainting at your smile.  v– Lol “Help me.”  You're just an ordinary human.

You can’t look like this (yourself) anymore. 

 


Anderson Cooper 29Jul09: “Joe Jackson does not make sense when he talks. I’m serious. I’ve never heard someone who makes less sense when he talks. It’s like a Rorschach test. You can pick out anything you want from what Joe Jackson says.”

10:30 pm
July 31, 2009


Hideaway

Member

Texas

posts 45

2

Post edited 3:53 pm – August 1, 2009 by Hideaway


Forget this disguise, you’ve already used it. 

 

Ditto

 

The hood ornament act, though clever, didn’t work.  People still recognized & mauled you.  You must have twitched or something.

 

Ironically, this look will never work anymore.

It’s too recognizable now.  You’ll have to lose the face masks & look as unassumingly dumpy as possible.

 


Anderson Cooper 29Jul09: “Joe Jackson does not make sense when he talks. I’m serious. I’ve never heard someone who makes less sense when he talks. It’s like a Rorschach test. You can pick out anything you want from what Joe Jackson says.”

10:33 pm
July 31, 2009


Hideaway

Member

Texas

posts 45

3

Post edited 3:37 pm – August 1, 2009 by Hideaway


Dispose of any remnants of your trademark styles from over the years.  No one can know you’re you.

 

You can’t get away with wearing anything bedazzled.

 

 

No shimmer & shine.

 

No shades, no gloves.

  Dead giveaway.  Or alive giveaway, whatev’s. 

 

No funky, glittery boots. 

 

No *fabulous* sequined comforter either.  

 

 

No more glitz.

 

No more sparkle.

 

I mean it!! 

 

It's too dangerous.

 


Anderson Cooper 29Jul09: “Joe Jackson does not make sense when he talks. I’m serious. I’ve never heard someone who makes less sense when he talks. It’s like a Rorschach test. You can pick out anything you want from what Joe Jackson says.”

10:36 pm
July 31, 2009


MyBelovedMJ

Member

posts 1012

4

OH Dear. Who wouldent want to sleep in that Bed?


I would feel like a princess

10:41 pm
July 31, 2009


Hideaway

Member

Texas

posts 45

5

Post edited 4:03 pm – August 1, 2009 by Hideaway


MyBelovedMJ said:

OH Dear. Who wouldent want to sleep in that Bed?


I would feel like a princess


Yes


While we’re at it, stay away from black leather, silver chains & giant claymation rabbits.

 

 

Oh yeah.  Spacesuits & moonboots are banned.  Everyone’s seen you in those.

    

 

S & M gear’s gotta go, too.

 

 

Can’t hide out in royalty costumes.

 

Or military attire.

 

Fedoras? Uh-uh.

 


Anderson Cooper 29Jul09: “Joe Jackson does not make sense when he talks. I’m serious. I’ve never heard someone who makes less sense when he talks. It’s like a Rorschach test. You can pick out anything you want from what Joe Jackson says.”

10:45 pm
July 31, 2009


Hideaway

Member

Texas

posts 45

6

Post edited 3:47 pm – August 1, 2009 by Hideaway


Forego the cardigans (darn, such a cute look)

 

Bill Cosby sweaters, Larry King suspenders with Sherlock Holmes detective caps?  Say Say Say nope.  

 

Sweater vests, bow ties.  Fetching?  Yes.  An option anymore?  No.

 

Red leather?  Don’t think so.

 

And definitely no more sexy, painted on, liquid gold pants!!!  

YOWSA 

 


Anderson Cooper 29Jul09: “Joe Jackson does not make sense when he talks. I’m serious. I’ve never heard someone who makes less sense when he talks. It’s like a Rorschach test. You can pick out anything you want from what Joe Jackson says.”

10:49 pm
July 31, 2009


beyond anguish

Member

posts 196

7

LOL you cant take the federas he'll never be the same.. oh yea that's the point nvm

10:49 pm
July 31, 2009


Hideaway

Member

Texas

posts 45

8

Post edited 3:49 pm – August 1, 2009 by Hideaway


You’ll have to make do with the Hawaiian shirt,

 spandex biker shorts & Jesus sandals

Miko Brando packed in your backpack on June 22nd. 

 

A few piercings & tattoos would help transform your new image. http://i28.tinypic.com/ih051j.jpg

 

Don’t be afraid to use your DEEP, naturally sexy “2000 Watts” voice.  It’ll help keep you undercover.  You’ll also need a new name.  Let’s rule out Harold.  It doesn’t fit you.  Peter won’t work for obvious reasons.  Might as well scratch Omar/Omer off the list, too.  You’ve had enough trouble with that name in the past month.  Any name suggestions?


Anderson Cooper 29Jul09: “Joe Jackson does not make sense when he talks. I’m serious. I’ve never heard someone who makes less sense when he talks. It’s like a Rorschach test. You can pick out anything you want from what Joe Jackson says.”

11:03 pm
July 31, 2009


Give.In.To.Me

Member

Canada

posts 986

9

This was the cutest thread

But i'm sad…NO GOLD PANTS????

Can you feel it.. Can you feel it… CAN YOU FEEL IT

11:06 pm
July 31, 2009


Hideaway

Member

Texas

posts 45

10

Give.In.To.Me said:

This was the cutest thread

But i'm sad…NO GOLD PANTS????


 Thanks, and you're right: no gold pants…no more versions of Michael to look forward to…it's sad.

Anderson Cooper 29Jul09: “Joe Jackson does not make sense when he talks. I’m serious. I’ve never heard someone who makes less sense when he talks. It’s like a Rorschach test. You can pick out anything you want from what Joe Jackson says.”

12:56 am
August 1, 2009


Ziffes

Member

Denmark

posts 160

11

*OMG* LMAO*

well im sure he loves those gold pants..(i know i do ).. personally i would let him use them for a little while at night before bed.


2:18 am
August 1, 2009


roxy101

Member

posts 77

12

HAHAHAH I love this!

Keep The Faith, Baby, Yea Because It’s Just A Matter Of Time Before Your Confidence Will Win Out

2:26 am
August 1, 2009


InnerDemon

Member

Germany

posts 424

13

hahaha… omg i love your thread! and dont forget, he cant sing or dance in crowds!! beware of music, michael. we all know the beat hits you

“Lies run sprints, but the truth runs marathons.”

2:44 am
August 1, 2009


francisca81

Member

amsterdam, the netherlands

posts 61

14

Ziffes said:

*OMG* LMAO*

well im sure he loves those gold pants..(i know i do ).. personally i would let him use them for a little while at night before bed.



yes he can wear the gold pants when he is with me alone, when no one else is waching.

he can wear everything he wants when he's alone with me, but not in public!

2:59 am
August 1, 2009


Ziffes

Member

Denmark

posts 160

15

francisca81 said:

Ziffes said:

*OMG* LMAO*

well im sure he loves those gold pants..(i know i do ).. personally i would let him use them for a little while at night before bed.



yes he can wear the gold pants when he is with me alone, when no one else is waching.

he can wear everything he wants when he's alone with me, but not in public!


or nothing at all.. *ROFL*

3:02 am
August 1, 2009


francisca81

Member

amsterdam, the netherlands

posts 61

16

Ziffes said:

francisca81 said:

Ziffes said:

*OMG* LMAO*

well im sure he loves those gold pants..(i know i do ).. personally i would let him use them for a little while at night before bed.



yes he can wear the gold pants when he is with me alone, when no one else is waching.

he can wear everything he wants when he's alone with me, but not in public!


or nothing at all.. *ROFL*


yes i was thinking that, hahahaha.  

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